If you've ever wondered Could I be autistic?—you're not alone. Many adults are now exploring autism as a framework for understanding their lifelong sensitivity, overwhelm, and deep inner worlds. Especially those socialized as women or assigned female at birth are discovering that what once felt like a personal failing might actually be something else: a different neurotype.
Autism is not a linear diagnosis. It's not about being "a little autistic" or "high-functioning." It's a spectrum—a constellation of traits related to how we process information, sensory input, emotions, and relationships.
While autism is still medically classified under DSM-5 as a "disorder," many clinicians, researchers, and autistic individuals are shifting toward a more respectful understanding:
Autism is a neurological variation—a natural part of human diversity.
According to the social model of disability, disability doesn't arise from the body or mind itself—it arises from the way society fails to accommodate differences. In this view, an autistic person isn't "disabled" because they stim, avoid eye contact, or find loud noises overwhelming. They are disabled by a culture that values conformity over authenticity, noise over stillness, speed over depth, and extroversion over sensitivity.
We are not broken. The system was never built with us in mind!
Autism often goes undiagnosed
Especially in women, femmes, people of color, and LGBTQ+ folks—because diagnostic tools were developed with cisgender boys in mind. Many of us were taught to mask: to mimic, to smile, to perform "normal." We were praised for being quiet, high-achieving, or polite—while silently battling sensory overload, anxiety, and burnout.
You might relate if:
- You feel like you're "too much" or "too sensitive"
- You rehearse conversations or obsess over what you said
- You have strong preferences around sound, touch, lighting, or routine
- You crave solitude after social interactions
- You have deep emotional responses but struggle to express them on the spot
Many of us have heard "But you don't look autistic" and felt invalidated. The truth is: there is no one way to look autistic. Autistic people can be verbal or nonverbal, analytical or artistic, reserved or expressive. What we see on the surface often doesn't match what's happening internally. That's why late diagnosis and self-diagnosis are rising—people are finally seeing themselves in more expansive, accurate representations of autism.
But, what if autism isn't something to hide—but something to honor?
Yes, there are challenges: sensory overwhelm, emotional shutdowns, rigid routines, difficulty with transitions. But there are also sacred gifts:
- A deep sensitivity to injustice
- An ability to notice what others miss
- Unfiltered truth-telling
- Intense empathy and intuitive knowing
- Fierce loyalty and integrity
- Transpersonal gifts
Autistic people often feel life more vividly. That's not a deficit—it's a form of sacred intelligence. You may have been told you were too much your entire life. But maybe you were just wired for a deeper frequency—and no one ever taught you how to listen for it.
You don't need a formal diagnosis to start honoring your needs. But many find clarity and relief in naming what has always been there.
With reverence and care,
Ari Leal, RMHCI
Therapy Glow | Sacred Space for Neurodivergent Healing